growth

This is my command, be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged.
For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9 NLT

A few weeks ago, my friend Diann and I went for an hour walk-n-talk in the country. Corn fields galore. The further we went, I had an “oh my gosh moment!” I had to go to the bathroom (can I just say pee?). I blurted out, “I have to pee.” OK. Alright. We looked around, she laughed and said something like “well, there is a cornfield. You good at squatting? Go a few rows back, no one will see you.”   I hesitated and said, “OK, hold my phone. I’m doing it.” So, I did.

After exiting the corn field and resuming our walk, we were laughing and carrying on, when two huge, fierce, barking dogs at a house yards in front of us suddenly appeared. We stopped, debated, and decided to go another way. The other route lead us to another dog. Ugh…dogs everywhere! We were stuck at a crossroad, the clock was ticking, our husbands weren’t answering their phones and we discussed our views on hitchhiking…funny stuff. What seemed like an hour later, her hubby called back, picked us up and drove us past the house, not before slowing down to taunt and scold the dogs.  Once past, we jumped out to finish our walk-n-talk.

The other day, I set out on a bike ride. I chose a different route because it was windy and I wanted an easier ride. Confession, some days I like easy routes. My bike rides are my time with God and this day was no different. I asked God to “let me see what He wanted me to see and to help me not miss one thing.” Riding. Riding. Riding. Gulp. I realized I was coming up on the back side of that same road where those dogs live.

Do you ever have those moments when your mind thinks and processes more thoughts than humanly possible in a very short amount of time? Well, this was one of those time for me.

I quickly assessed how to get around it and realized it would take more time than I allotted…once again. Glad I peed before I took off. Then I was like I need a stick, a big stick to beat those dogs when they try to attack me. I went into begging mode, “God please give me a stick.” I am telling ya, I was frantically looking around for that big stick. Saying, don’t let me miss it! Nothin. No stick in sight and no quick path home. Well, I turned the corner and was on that road; and, yes, still looking for a stick. Dog house looming ¼ mile.

What did I spy with my little eye? Not a stick, but a piece of Styrofoam. Really God? A big piece of Styrofoam. I rode past it. My thoughts were again frantic. What to do? My peddling slowed substantially. I thought, “do I need that piece of Styrofoam to beat the dogs?”

I turned around and picked it up thankful it was big, and that it had a slit that miraculously fit over my handlebar. I could still steer and shift gears. I’m was like OK here is my big stick. Still peddling slowly, those quick thoughts came again…how would I beat those ferocious dogs with my new weapon? Or was it to be a shield? Either way, I realized I would inevitable be knocked off my bike and mauled by those 2 wild black beasts.

I started begging again, “God please let someone be home so that when I scream REALLY LOUD they will hear me and save me from those malicious dogs who are snarling and going to bite my leg off and that bite will give me rabies. I will have to get rabbi shots. I will get a major infection, end up with staph and in the hospital.” Whew…I’m telling ya all those thoughts in ¼ mile. The mind is a powerful thing.

Then, I had the most rational thought. The Styrofoam would act as my shield and protect me from the dogs’ deadly bites. It would scare them because it was big, white and flapping in the wind. And of course, I would be screaming because that’s what I do when a dog comes at me. This combination would be sure to ward off the attack.

Plan in place, I geared down or was it up…whatever, I was able to peddle fast but of course safe enough so I wouldn’t peddle myself right off my bike. Once past the cornfield (where I had peed with Diann), the house was in sight. I saw a neon green shirted man on a ladder working on the barn (no time for a pic here). Yes Sally, there is a God! I realized my shield or weapon AND my scream would suffice now. My scream would catch the man’s attention and the shield and weapon would protect me until the man could reign in his unruly dogs.

Deep breath. Peddling. The property line. My eyes darting every which way. My ears on high alert. My heart thumping. Hmm. No barking.  No beasts charging the road. No dogs. I was safe. I would not be mulled, infected or have to endure rabbi shots. I would not warm up my vocal cords or get to use my Styrofoam Shield or was it to be a weapon?

Smiling, I asked God, “What was that all about?”

Riding. Listening. Thoughts coming. Grabbing my iPhone, punching in my password, tapping iTalk, hitting “Record,” I started talking.

My 13 take-a-ways from my ride today:

1. Barking dogs cause fear but get me focused.
2. Obstacles pop up. It’s how I navigate them that matters.
3. Faith triumphs fear. Do my part. Lean in to truth.
4. Provision isn’t always what I think but its provision.
5. Fear, courage and strength fight to co-exist in my circumstances.
6. See things from different perspectives.
7. Sometimes the only way out is through.
8. Laugh, have fun and always be on the lookout.
9. God goes with me wherever I am. I just have to join Him.
10. The significance of the Armor of God.
11. In every experience there is something to learn! Pause. Ponder. Learn.
12. Share it.
13. Swords and shields come in all shapes and sizes for a reason.

Some Questions to think about: 

What is your “barking dog?”  How is it helping you to focus? Or how is it distracting you? What fears stand in the way of your destination?  How will you navigate the journey?  What would a Styrofoam shield or sword do for you?

Share your comments and thoughts.  As always, I would love to hear from you!

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”  Dorothy Thompson

Visit me at www.infusecoaching.com

Follow me on Twitter @tdkresler

Joy.  Sorrow.  Happiness.  Sadness. 

I have no doubt if I asked, “Would you rather experience growth through happiness or sadness?” 99% of you would say, without hesitation, “Happiness of course!”

Be assured I would say the same thing.

What if I changed the question and asked, “When do you experience the greatest growth, during happy or sad times?”  Not sure what the percentage would be but bet we are the same here too.  I have consistently experienced the greatest growth during times of great sorrow or sadness.

The times when all is well and I am “happy,” I tend to move through my days with ease.  I do what I need to do, some of what I don’t need or want to do and really enjoy doing, being and playing.  Living life…probably pretty selfishly.

During times when things are jacked up, messed up and chaotic; when things are treacherous and scary;  when people, things, or events wreak havoc on my life; when I find myself wallowing in a pit of despair and darkness; when I can’t get away from my thinking and the internal monologue keeps rolling; when true sorrow saps my energy and when sadness swallows my hope…I tend to want to hide, to run away and maybe even pretend that all is just fine and go back to old ways of thinking, being and doing.

But, I won’t.  I can’t.  I have come too far.  I know through sadness or sorrow (whichever you want to call it) there is an opportunity.  I can allow the circumstances to change me, grow me and teach me.  I can remind myself that the sadness will be momentary and that I will come out on the other side and experience the happiness I want most…just like times in my past.  The circumstance or thing may be different, but God is still the same.  He wants me to be better not bitter.  He wants me to fight through it…again!

I realize that during these times of sorrow and sadness, I slow down.  And honestly, it’s not a choice I make, “it” makes the choice for me…whatever “it” is.  All of the sudden, nothing else matters.  It becomes my focus.  It makes me move intentionally.  It makes me speak cautiously.  It makes me reflect internally.  It makes me want happiness.  It compels me to search.  It drives me to dig deep.  It creates a fire in my soul to fight for what I know is to be, should be or could be!

When I meet sorrow, I am immediately aware of me and my inability to understand so much.  Sorrow cuts to the depths of my soul. Experiencing deep sadness is part of my life. I’m sure yours too.  It’s a process that I want to avoid at all costs, but am learning that will never be possible.  You see, Christ suffered and since I am created in His image, I will suffer and so will you.

Today, I am not in the hopeless pit of despair.  I am coming out of it.  My hope has been revived and my soul has been renewed.  I believe that the sorrow and sadness I experience are times when God refines me…molds me to be more like He needs me to be.  I sure wish he would pick the “happiness path” to refine me, it’s definitely more fun and enjoyable!  But, I know that is not the plan for the transformation He hopes see.

So, I will choose to thank Him for the really hard days.  The days that caused me to be sad, hopeless, desperate and empty.  The days I had dig deep, be real and take risk.   What I know is those days, stretched, pushed and changed me.  This recent trek, with God and others, has helped me get to a joy-filled place today.  I see beauty, grace, love, forgiveness and faithfulness.  I see growth!  I see that sorrow doesn’t have to forever derail me.  I see that sorrow and sadness can supernaturally propel me.  Today, I will see and embrace the joy!

Questions:  What’s your story on joy and sorrow? How have you seen it derail you? What’s standing in the way of taking steps to allowing it to propel you?  

Share your comments and thoughts.  As always, I would love to hear from you!

“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.”  author unknown

Confession:   I am a morning person and do enjoy morning exercise time…please don’t be a hater haha!

On this August morning, it was cool, a little balmy and the sun was just popping over the trees.  Comfortable and beautiful.  Heading outside for my walk-jog mixer, I tapped my Pandora icon on my phone, waited for the music to start and shoved my phone in my sports bra.  (I know, I could buy one of those arm band thingys, but this works for me haha).  Anyway, after a few stretches, arm circles and neck twirls, I took off.  Quickly, found myself huffing and puffing and not really focused on the random contemporary Christian music coming from my chest.

Almost half way done, something happened. An old song came on and it immediately caught my attention.  My focus shifted.  The words. My thoughts, scrambling to remember the title.  The song connected with memories of a specific time in my life.   Has this ever happened to you?  It’s crazy!

The memories continued and then, the faces…oh my goosh, the faces of the people, vivid in my mind, those beautiful friends; then the places where we connected, in color.  This was a crucial time in my life.  I was a REAL mess.  This community became a physical lifeline.  They were real, loving, compassionate and a plethora of other adjectives.  This was a powerful community of people!

Oh goosh! Focus had shifted back to my huffing and puffing, as I was obviously running too fast.  I knew I was to remember this song.  Stop.  I grabbed my sweat drenched phone from my sports bra (sick, I know), quickly pulled up a blank text message bubble and voice spoke the chorus words.  I would Google it when I got home.

The rest of the run, I thought about them…that Christian community…friends, seekers, believers, family-like people, supporters, fellow sinners saved by grace, not perfect but real, authentic, honest and loving.  Messed up just like me.  I felt like I belonged in this community.  I was one of them.  The next 10 years, I think, they taught & trained me up, sharpened & believed in me, spoke truth to me, and modeled real life for me.  They invested, supported and discipled.  They taught me how to serve, lead and love Jesus.  Pretty darn amazing group of people.  A powerful community!

Then I remembered this; they were the ones who were beside me, as I stepped forward to that alter of grace, (in that little country church in Selma), as I accepted Jesus as my Savior…at the young ole’ age of 27.  I saw their faces.  I could almost feel their touch. I remember their tears and their joyful smiles. Wow, the power of that community of real people!

The memories continued of many communities that had impacted my life.  Personal, professional, school, church & ministry.  Interestingly, the impact was healthy and positive OR unhealthy and negative.  Nonetheless, many of the powerful community experiences have been etched in my mind, heart and soul, and am forever grateful!

5 Take-Aways from my powerful community experiences:

1. When I encountered real, authentic people, I was welcomed, loved and accepted. And, that continues to be a common theme today.
2. Through these relationships, I was challenged, taught and sharpened; experienced frustration, struggles and hurt, but was motivated, loved and encouraged to persevere.  Again, consistent.
3. I experienced change, growth and transformation, in the presence of loving relationships, with those who desired similar outcomes; and was loved unconditionally.  Unequivocally true now!
4. Then and now, being actively engaged in these types of relationships and communities is necessary because they have invaluable purpose.
5. Powerful communities will leave a mark and a memory.  Some will be worth re-visiting and some will be worth replicating!

PAUSE.     REFLECT.     ANSWER.

• Define community.
• Think about a community that was healthy and one that wasn’t.  What stands out?
• What does your ideal community look like?
• Reflect on powerful communities.  List any common denominators.
• What is your greatest community need, at this point in your life?  Where will you find it?

Almost forgot, the profound song was “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever.”  Seems pretty irrelevant now, but didn’t want to leave you hangin! Smile.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say…THANK YOU…my SUMC family and community!  You served me well, taught me much and loved like Jesus.  You left a mark and a precious memory deep in my soul.  I am forever grateful to you!

Please share your thoughts, comments & take-aways!  Love, love hearing from you!

Do you ever have so much going through your mind that you become consumed with what to do or not do?  Sidetracked by things that come up that weren’t on your list?

Well, if so, I say, “welcome to my world today (and other days, too)!”  Goodness.  Despite being on my new 3×5 card Time Management plan (with the help of my Mentor Coach), I am struggling to stay focused and on task.  I have been here there and everywhere today and back to the here.  And, can I just share that I broke my most favorite hair tool, my Paul Mitchell flat-iron.  The loss of a gals major hair tool is a big deal!

Anyway, so where is “here?”  Here is #3 on my list of majors today.  Majors are my list of three things, for the day, which I am to get done before my head hits the pillow tonight.  #3 on my list for today says “blog something.”

Blog something, ok!  To do or not to do…or just take a nap?  That is seriously what jumped into my head. And it so it goes…

Focus and Discipline.  Being focused is a good thing.  Focus helps us be productive.  Focus is part of being disciplined.  Discipline is a good thing.  Discipline helps us be productive.  Discipline is part of being focused.  Oh, the two are so connected.

I believe there is something good about being focused and disciplined that keeps me productive and on track.  I know that and you know all that.  Reality is there are those days where my best attempts to focus, be disciplined and productive battle with my thoughts, my desires and ordinary things that happen in my day.  My mind races to and fro and so do I.  Laundry, dinner, oh that webpage, email, and oh gosh my coaching homework, tennis practice, and going to the courthouse and bank, those can wait until another day.  It’s hard because I really just want to get the things checked off my 3×5 card list to feel like I really did get something accomplished.  That shows I was focused and disciplined.

It’s been a battle today with what I want to do, what I need to do and what I could do.  I am managing to get some of my minor’s done and working on my Majors too.  I committed to try this time management plan for 21 days to help my focus, discipline and movement forward.  I decided I don’t have to play this focus-discipline game on the weekends so it’s been 11 days!  I have been faithful in pondering, praying and writing down my to-do’s…majors and minors and 90 day goals; but you know what…today I just want to throw my card in the trash and take a nap!  To do or not to do? That’s the question.

Hope this brings a smile to your face and encourages you to know that I have “those” kind of days.  It has made me smile thinking about my day and my mood has shifted to a better place.  AND, I am realizing in this minute that I can cross off #3 on my card. Yes!

(PS. My first attempt at posting this got all messed up and I didn’t save it.  URGH…I will not be defeated! Re-do is done and hitting PUBLISH!)

            Vision.   Purpose.   Mission.

Are these things really important? Do we really need a VPM?  Will having a VPM change how we live life? I have been pondering these and similar questions for weeks.  Through a life coaching class, we were challenged to figure out our life VPM.  What a daunting task this has been!

This morning, I was reading and the story connected with my work on VPM and what I accomplished this week. Yes! Officially completed the VPM challenge.  Done. Rah-Rah, fist bump, boom boom!

Anyway, here was the connection and learning. I was reading about Paul, in Acts 26. Short summary: Paul had a vision, a purpose and a mission!  “Hmmm, VPM must be important and needed to live with intention, huh?”

My ponderings began. Paul’s journey in Acts 26 reminded me of my recent journey into Life Coaching.  Life coaching was not something I set out to do…it randomly came up in a random conversation at a random moment. In those “randoms,” I believe a vision of sorts was birthed in me. My life path shifted.  Like Paul, his life journey shifted because of a heavenly vision. Paul sure didn’t start out being a radical follower of Jesus….remember, he was mean, really mean, to people who believed in and followed Jesus.

After the vision, it was like Paul knew that he knew (he believed) there was a purpose for his life.  The story basically says, he stood up on his feet to do what was laid before him, embraced the vision and became willing to do it.  Well, I can’t say that I just jumped to my feet and embraced my vision, willingly; but I did stand up and took baby steps forward.  I wonder if Paul doubted or wavered.  I know that I have. However, the baby steps taken have reinforced that I do have a purpose for the season that I am now living.  Despite the obstacles and my own self-sabotaged thinking, I have continued to step forward with a “do it” attitude (most of the time), just like Paul.

Paul knew his “what, why and where.”  Paul was sent to be a servant and witness to those who needed forgiveness and a Savior.  This was his mission and he began doing it!  Living intentionally. Don’t you just want to holler, “Go Paul?”

Crazy as it is, I know my “what, why and where,” for this season of life. It’s time for the action.  I bet Paul was scared and discouraged, just like me.  But Paul kept the heavenly VPM in front of his eyes! Paul’s life encourages me to keep stepping; to keep trusting; to act; and to keep God’s VPM for my life in front of my eyes.  Despite my fears, doubts and discouragement, I am learning almost daily what it means to discover and live with vision and purpose. And that kind of excites me!

Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,”  declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Questions: Do you desire to live like Paul knowing your “what, why and where?” What can you do to discover them?  Are you willing? 

Who doesn’t love a white elephant exchange at a family Christmas? This year, our family received some funny things. One was Soap Nuts. Laughs abounded when this gift was opened by my 13-year-old son. His bewildered look was priceless and then his response, “Soap Nuts? What are these?” And, I bet some of you just CACKLED and asked the same question.

At the end of the family gathering, we threw all of our goofy gifts in a bag and headed home. Next day, I pulled everything out and set it on the table. I was intrigued by the little brown nuts in the recycled bag, with the “how to use” instructions, which were purchased from a Christian mission organization.

After checking them out, I must admit I was pretty skeptical about throwing out my Tide and being sold out on using Soap Nuts for my detergent. I began to Google, research and learn about Soap Nuts. To my amazement, there were many sites about these little nuts and there multiple uses. I watched a couple of videos, while my husband murmured something like, “not real and won’t work.” These little coated nuts could be used for detergent, shampoo, housecleaners and more. They were said to be hypoallergenic, natural and organic. After the research, I was less skeptical, and more willing to try them in a load. I must admit, I love (really love) the smell of Tide and that was a con of Soap Nuts. All sites said “your clothes will not have that fresh smell.” Despite that and my still skeptic thinking, I followed the directions, threw a few nuts in the mesh bag and hit start on my washing machine. My willingness turned into action and my clothes actually appeared to be clean.

I am becoming a believer in the power of Soap Nuts. I have washed many loads since and periodically grab some Tide for a load just to enjoy that smell. And, I still use Downey and that appeases my senses…“april fresh” clothes, sheets and towels! Aaaahhhh….
I can’t just run to Meijer or that W-place and grab Soap Nuts, so don’t know how long I will use them. But for now, you will find my little mesh back packed and ready for the next cycle.

My 3 ah-ha moments from the Soap Nuts: Learning transforms my skeptical thinking/mindset; trying new things can be fun and empowering; and, I will be buying Soap Nuts for the next white elephant exchange!

And, final thought…there is a spiritual lesson for me too. At times, I have been skeptical and unwilling in my faith journey. But when I finally acted or stepped or obeyed into the “new thing,” it has been fun and empowering; AND, I have experienced God in a new way…just as He intended.

Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Questions: What new thing can you do or try in the next 30 days? Is there something that you want to learn? Are you being nudged to step or act? Don’t allow skepticism to hold you back. Have courage, and act…new things are part of living well!